52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #7: Bucket List for Couples

My husband and I frequently use the phrase "when our kids are gone from the house, we will have to...". With three young children in the house, it seems almost impossible to realize some of our dreams. I think that this is one of the reasons that married couples can fall into a rut (I know that we do). How would your relationship change if you could actually make some of your dreams come true today or in the near future? I recently had a friend tell me that she and her husband found a babysitter and started going on a date night once a week and that it had completely changed their relationship. For some couples, a weekly date night might be a small "dream", but for some of you, making this happen could be a dream come true! What are some of the dreams that you have for your marriage?

 

Week #7: Create a couple's bucket list.

 

During your spouse time, talk about things that you want to accomplish as a couple or dreams for your marriage. Write them down and create your own couple's bucket list. Leave this as an open ended list and add things as you think of them. Put your list somewhere that you will see it and refer to it often. If you see your list, you are more likely to do the things on the list.

 

The purpose of this bucket list is to get doing. This list won't help your relationship unless you accomplish the things that you have written down. Set a realistic goal of how often you want to complete the things on your list. If you have simple things on your list, like a weekly date night, you might be able to accomplish it right away. If your goal is a big trip, it might have to wait a year or several years till your kids are older or until you can save enough money.

 

You might be surprised what your spouse wants to do. This is a great way to open up lines of communication and to share your dreams and aspirations with your spouse.

 

If you are having problems getting started, here are a few ideas:

 

• Get dressed up and take a limo to a fancy/expensive restaurant
• Go on a spontaneous road trip and see where you end up
• Read through the Bible together
• Travel to _______
• Spend an entire day in bed
• Complete a devotional together
• Build your dream house
• Remodel your house (or a room in your house)
• Have a weekly date night
• Go skydiving
• Stay up all night and watch the sunrise
• Take dance lessons
• Retire by age ____ and _____________ (i.e. travel)
• Go scuba diving/snorkeling
• Have a picnic on the beach
• Run a race together
• Take a cooking class
• Make a new meal/dessert together and have a romantic dinner for two
• Go for a motorcycle ride
• Ride in a helicopter
• Read a book together
• Make love on a/in a/aboard a __________________
• Sing a karaoke duet
• Horseback ride
• Get a couple's massage
• Create a CD/play list of your favorite songs

What are some of the things on your couple's bucket list?

 

Previous Marriage Challenge Tasks:

 

Week #1: Devotional Time
Week #2: Spouse Time
Week #3: Letter of Thanks
Week #4: Kiss Like You Mean It
Week #5 Stay at Home Date Night
Week #6 Pray for Your Spouse

52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #6: Pray for Your Spouse

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope that you and your spouse have something fun planned to celebrate.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 says "Two are better than one, because the have a good reward for their toil. For if they fail, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a threefold cord is not easily broken." (ESV)  I love the picture of a threefold cord. The threefold cord is strong and cannot be easily broken. When Christ is the center of our marriages, they will be strong. They will not be broken. It is when we fail to give our relationships up to Christ and delight in our own sinful nature that our marriages can and often will fail.

Week #6: Pray for Your Spouse

 

We cannot control our spouse's relationship with God, but we can continually lift them up in prayer. This week, I want to challenge you to purposefully pray for your spouse on a daily basis.

 

Here are some things that you can consider when you pray:

• What are some of my spouse's spiritual gifts? (Praise)
• What are some things that are going well in my spouse's personal life? (Praise)
• What are some things that are going well in my spouse's professional life? (Praise)
• What are some things that are going well in your marriage? (Praise)
• What is your spouse currently struggling with in their spiritual life? If you don't know the answer to this, take a few minutes to ask.
• What are some of the things that your spouse is struggling with in their personal life?
• What are some of the things that your spouse is struggling with in their professional life?
• What are some things that you are struggling with as a couple?

As you are thinking and praying about some of these things, incorporate supporting scriptures. If you aren't sure where to find scriptures about a specific topic, you can simply do an Internet search for "verses about...".

If you need help getting started, there are many great resources available.

Online Resources:

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband
6 Verses to Pray for Your Husband
Praying for Him (31 Day Challenge)
Praying for Her (31 Day Challenge)

Books About Prayer:

The Power of a Praying® Wife
The Power of a Praying® Husband
Prayers Of An Excellent Wife: Intercession For Him
Praying God's Word for Your Husband
How to Pray for Your Wife: A 31-Day Guide

52 Week Marriage Challenge

Week #1: Devotional Time
Week #2: Spouse Time
Week #3: Letter of Thanks
Week #4: Kiss Like You Mean It
Week #5 Stay at Home Date Night

Some of the links on this website are "affiliate links." This means that if you click on the link and purchase the item, I receive a commission

52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #5: Stay at Home Date Night (Plus Date Ideas)

Valentine's Day is only a week away. I must admit that I used to hate Valentine's Day. I made the conscious decision this year to approach Valentine's Day in a completely different manner. This year I am using Valentine's Day as a day to show others the same love that Christ showed us.

And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself" Matthew 22:37-39

 

God's commandment applies to our spouses as well. We should be loving our spouse with all our heart, soul, and mind. I challenge you to treat Valentine's Day as a great opportunity to express this love rather than as a chore or another dreaded holiday.

 

With that in mind, this week's challenge is focused on something that you can plan for Valentine's Day. If you have missed any of the previous Marriage Challenges, the links are at the bottom of this post.

 

Week #5: Stay at Home Date Night

 

Many of you probably have kids and many of you probably hate going out on Valentine's Day. Restaurants often jack up prices on Valentine's Day and/or have a limited menu. Places are crowded. I don't know about you, but this makes me very grumpy. Skip the crowds this year and plan a stay at home date night.

 

 

 

 

1. Have a movie marathon with snacks. Both husband and wife can make a selection which should keep everyone happy.
2. Cook a meal together. Clothing optional.
3. Play board games.
4. If cooking isn't your thing, pick up a meal from a fast food or take-out restaurant and enjoy it in candlelight.
5. Go for a walk and hold hands.
6. Make ice cream sundaes with all the toppings.
7. Make a CD of your favorite love songs and slow dance.
8. Give each other massages.
9. Play strip poker or any other fun adult game (naked Twister anyone?).
10. Make a bucket list of things you want to do together as a couple.
11. Start a fire in your fire pit or fireplace and make s'mores (my husband would love this one).
12. Look through your wedding album together and reminisce.
13. Take a candlelit bubble bath.
14. Go on a scavenger hunt in your house/backyard.
15. Have a pillow fight.
16. Plan a picnic in your backyard complete with candles and wine (this will depend on your weather of course).
17. If it is too cold outside, have a picnic right in your living room.
18. Read a book together.
19. Go to bed early, snuggle up and talk (and do whatever else comes naturally).
20. Take turns asking each other questions. Even married couples can get to know each other better!

Also, check out 75 Ways to Bless Your Marriage.

What are your favorite stay at home date night ideas? Please share in the comments.

 

52 Week Marriage Challenge:

 

Week #1: Devotional Time
Week #2: Spouse Time
Week #3: Letter of Thanks
Week #4: Kiss Like You Mean It

 

75 Ways to Bless Your Marriage

Valentine's Day is less than a couple weeks away. If you have been struggling in your relationship, this is a great time to evaluate some things that you can do on a regular basis to bless and strengthen your marriage. If you marriage is strong, there are always things that you can continue to do to maintain a successful and God-centered marriage.

The Bible gives us an amazing picture of what true and selfless love is and we should always be striving to achieve this in our relationship with our spouse.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

^"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Here are a few ideas that I came up with that you can do all year long to bless your marriage:

1. Pray for each other
2. Pray together
3. Read the Bible together
4. Do a daily/weekly devotional together
5. Go to church together
6. Spend 30 minutes of dedicated time together each day
7. Go to bed at the same time
8. Make lunch for your spouse
9. Make a romantic candlelit dinner for your spouse
10. Recite your vows together just because
11. Renew your vows
12. Surprise your spouse with their favorite treat
13. Hang your favorite couple picture in your bedroom
14. Laugh together often
15. Kiss like you mean it
16. Surprise your spouse by coming home from work early
17. Put the kids to bed and give your spouse a break
18. Take 10 minutes each evening to tell each other about your day
19. Let your spouse sleep in
20. Let your spouse take a nap
21. Forgive each other
22. Talk/Communicate
23. Agree on how you are going to manage your finances
24. Get and stay out of debt
25. Have lunch together without the kids
26. Have a non-negotiable monthly date night out
27. Have a weekly in home date night (if you can't make it out of the house)
28. Go on a vacation together at least once a year (even if it is one night)
29. Recreate your first date
30. Give your spouse a massage
31. Get a couple's massage
32. Take a bubble bath together
33. Get busy...often
34. Have a make out session
35. Take a walk together
36. Hold hands every chance you get
37. Put your phones away, turn the T.V. off, and get off the computer
38. Get up early and watch the sunrise together
39. Make your spouse breakfast in bed
40. Make coffee in the morning
41. Make your spouse a special breakfast when they have an important day
42. Send a sexy text
43. Leave a sweet Facebook message
44. Leave a sweet note on the fridge
45. Call your spouse on the phone just to say you are thinking about them
46. Stop what you are doing and listen when your spouse is talking
47. Dress-up for your spouse just because
48. Support your spouse's goals, dreams, and aspirations
49. Bring your wife flowers
50. Buy your husband a power tool (or anything he would appreciate)
51. Write a letter of thanks to your spouse
52. Complete one of your spouse's chores
53. Look at your wedding album together and talk about your favorite memories
54. Do something spontaneous
55. Read His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage together
56. Respect your spouse
57. Say only good things about your spouse to others
58. Play a game together
59. Complete a household project together
60. Cook a meal together
61. Take a class together
62. Make your bedroom a relaxing place to be (for us this means no kids)
63. Have the house clean and dinner ready when your spouse comes home
64. Send your spouse a complimenting text/email (or several) throughout the day
65. Take care of the kids when your spouse is sick
66. Ask what you can do for your spouse
67. Give your spouse a night off to do what they enjoy
68. Make a bucket list of things you want to do as a couple
69. Encourage your spouse to pursue a hobby
70. For her: Don't nag
71. For him: Put the toilet seat down
72. Get along with your in-laws
73. Tell your spouse what a great parent they are and give examples
74. Demonstrate to your children what a healthy marriage looks like so someday they can have one of their own
75. Kiss, hug and say "I love you" every chance you get

What things do you do to bless your marriage? Please share your ideas in the comment section.

52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #4: Kiss Like You Mean It

I know many of you give your spouse a kiss and hug goodbye as they leave for work in the morning, a kiss in the evening when they arrive home and one before you go to sleep at night. If you are like me, you are probably usually in the middle of something and the kiss may be a bit...um...rushed. I will admit that I usually give my husband a quick smooch and then go on with my business.

Week #4 Challenge: Kiss like you mean it.

 

Some of you may already do this, but I know that this is something that I need to work on. I want to challenge you to take a few extra seconds this week when you say goodbye in the morning, when you say hello in the evening or when you go to bed at night to kiss like you mean it. Drop everything that you are doing and take a few extra seconds to really connect with your spouse.

 

Something a simple as a genuine, loving kiss can make a big impact on your relationship. I am sure that the first time that you do it, your spouse will be pleasantly surprised.

 

With Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, I would love to hear any great ideas that you have for your spouse. Please leave a comment or link.

52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #3: Letter of Thanks

At one time or another we all take our marriage and our partner for granted. My husband does so many things for me on a daily basis, but I have become accustomed to many of those things. Most of the time I just simply forget to give him a genuine thank you for the things that he does.

 

Week #3 Challenge: Write a letter of thanks to your spouse.

 

When I take the time to sit down and write my thoughts, I can communicate my thoughts much more effectively. I encourage you to sit down this week and write (not type) a well thought out letter of thanks to your spouse.

 

Here are some things I will be including in my letter. Hopefully this will help give you some ideas on where to start.

 

I am thankful for my husband...

• Being a man of God
• Providing financially for our family
• Working hard everyday at his place of work
• Taking out the trash (his daily "chore")
• Giving our kids baths
• Helping with bedtime
• Taking the time to share and listen on a daily basis
• Making our family a top priority
• Always being willing to give me a back rub on a hard day
• Making the kids breakfast in the morning

This are just a few things I will be including. I want my husband to know that I do not take him for granted and that I appreciate all of the "small" things that he does on a daily basis that make a big impact on me.

 

What are some amazing things that your husband does on a daily basis that you are thankful for?

 

 

52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #2: Spouse Time

As we begin week #2 of our 52 Week Marriage Challenge, I would like to ask you a question. How much quality time do you spend with your spouse each day? I'm not talking about putting the kids to bed or watching TV together. I am talking about quality time where you talk, pray, and listen to one another.

We all fall into the daily routine trap. I know my husband and I do. We get so wrapped up in our day to day lives and we forget to share our lives with each other. For those of you that have children, I know this can be a struggle. We have three children ages three and under and it seems most of our day is spent taking care of their basic needs. What we tend to forget is the best thing that we can ever do for our children is demonstrate what a loving and God centered marriage is all about.

Genesis 2:24 says "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". In order to become "one flesh" with our spouse as the Bible intended, we have to spend time nurturing and cultivating our relationship.

Week Two Challenge: Find 30 minutes per day to spend quality time with your spouse.

So how exactly do you find 30 minutes of uninterrupted time every day?

Take a look at your current activities. For many of you, 30 minutes may seem like a stretch when there are dishes to wash, children to care for and laundry to be done. If you are struggling to find 30 minutes, I encourage you to make a list of things you do on a daily basis and take out one or two of the least important things. Most of us have plenty of time to watch TV, Facebook, or read a book.

Schedule it. It might make sense for the 30 minutes to be scheduled at the same time every day. This could be in the morning before other family members wake up or it could be at night after everyone else is in bed. Some of you may even be lucky enough to have 30 minutes available at lunchtime. If you can't find 30 minutes at the same time everyday, still make sure you schedule the time. When your scheduled time rolls around, if there are dishes in the sink, leave them there!

Ok, I have the time scheduled. Now what do we do?

Since we talked about this being quality time, you shouldn't be watching TV or reading the newspaper. This needs to be a time to interact and nurture your relationship. Here are some ideas for activities you can do during this time:

• Work through a devotional together (this was part of last week's challenge)
• Pray together
• Read a marriage focused book together (One of my favorite is His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage)
• Read the Bible together (Song of Solomon is a good place to start)
• Just talk
• Dream together, talk about the future and set goals for what you would like to accomplish as a couple
• Bedroom time (self explanatory, I hope!)

I would love for you to share ideas about what you and your spouse do during your quality time to build your relationship. Please share your ideas in the comment section.

If you missed the first week of our challenge, I encourage you to go back and start there:

• 52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #1: Devotional Time

Some of the links on this website are "affiliate links." This means that if you click on the link and purchase the item, I receive a commission.

52 Week Marriage Challenge: Week One

One of my top 6 priorities for 2013, is to develop a deeper and stronger relationship with my husband. I have been thinking about a way to accomplish this and decided it would be great to create a 52 Week Marriage Challenge. Similar to my 52 Week Reorganized Home Challenge, I will post a challenge each week meant to strengthen the bond with your spouse.

Week One Challenge: Find a devotional to work through as a couple during the course of this year.

I believe that working through a Christ based devotional with your husband will not only improve your relationship, but it will put Christ where he belongs...in the center of your relationship. No matter how much time you spend with your husband, your relationship will never reach its full potential if Christ is not a part of it.

My husband and I started working through the devotional Closer: 52 Devotions to Draw Couples Together last year, but with the busyness of the holidays, it fell by the wayside. I am going to set aside time every week to make sure that we get back on track and finish working through the book (this is also one of my goals for 2013). I have been very pleased with this book so far.

If you are looking for more ideas for marriage based devotionals, there are some additional titles available on Amazon:

 

The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (One Year Signature Line)

 

Night Light: A Devotional for Couples

If you are dating, there are also a good devotionals available for Christian couples:

 

Devotions For Dating Couples: Building A Foundation For Spiritual Intimacy



 

Are you working through a devotional with your spouse? How has working through a devotional changed your relationship?