Tuesday, January 8, 2013

52 Week Marriage Challenge Week #2: Spouse Time


As we begin week #2 of our 52 Week Marriage Challenge, I would like to ask you a question. How much quality time do you spend with your spouse each day? I'm not talking about putting the kids to bed or watching TV together. I am talking about quality time where you talk, pray, and listen to one another.

We all fall into the daily routine trap. I know my husband and I do. We get so wrapped up in our day to day lives and we forget to share our lives with each other. For those of you that have children, I know this can be a struggle. We have three children ages three and under and it seems most of our day is spent taking care of their basic needs. What we tend to forget is the best thing that we can ever do for our children is demonstrate what a loving and God centered marriage is all about.

Genesis 2:24 says "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". In order to become "one flesh" with our spouse as the Bible intended, we have to spend time nurturing and cultivating our relationship.

Week Two Challenge: Find 30 minutes per day to spend quality time with your spouse.

So how exactly do you find 30 minutes of uninterrupted time every day?

Take a look at your current activities. For many of you, 30 minutes may seem like a stretch when there are dishes to wash, children to care for and laundry to be done. If you are struggling to find 30 minutes, I encourage you to make a list of things you do on a daily basis and take out one or two of the least important things. Most of us have plenty of time to watch TV, Facebook, or read a book.

Schedule it. It might make sense for the 30 minutes to be scheduled at the same time every day. This could be in the morning before other family members wake up or it could be at night after everyone else is in bed. Some of you may even be lucky enough to have 30 minutes available at lunchtime. If you can't find 30 minutes at the same time everyday, still make sure you schedule the time. When your scheduled time rolls around, if there are dishes in the sink, leave them there!

Ok, I have the time scheduled. Now what do we do?

Since we talked about this being quality time, you shouldn't be watching TV or reading the newspaper. This needs to be a time to interact and nurture your relationship. Here are some ideas for activities you can do during this time:
  • Work through a devotional together (this was part of last week's challenge)
  • Pray together
  • Read a marriage focused book together (One of my favorite is His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage)
  • Read the Bible together (Song of Solomon is a good place to start)
  • Just talk
  • Dream together, talk about the future and set goals for what you would like to accomplish as a couple
  • Bedroom time (self explanatory, I hope!)
I would love for you to share ideas about what you and your spouse do during your quality time to build your relationship. Please share your ideas in the comment section.

If you missed the first week of our challenge, I encourage you to go back and start there:
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